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How can we solve the problem of population growth?
  Topic ID 576
August 18, 2012
12:50 am
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Forum Posts: 32
Member Since:
July 13, 2012
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1   Post ID 2187
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Counties such as China, India and Japan have unsustainable population growths. In fact many experts are of the opinion that the population ‘explosion’ which is now a very worrying concern, is the most serious threat to life on this planet.

Give some suggestions to address this problem.

 

    Population growth continue to increase in the world at a fast pace.  As the population swells, many experts are not only worry about this subject, but also are they concern about its hazardous results. Famine, environmental pollution or even war are some of these threats. As a few suggestions to fight over-population, we can rely on better education, family incentives or even stricter social legislation.

Education is the most important mean to control the population. Family control topics are quite matured and common in many developed countries, but on the other hand is a subject of less attention in under-developed countries. Many married women in these societies are prone to unprecedented pregnancy which eventually leads to child birth. Lack of proper education in this scope causes these sort of problems. There are many statistics in Africa for example, which show a rising number of young women have searched for  a post-prevention remedy after they found out about their unwanted pregnancy.

In some developing countries, governments introduce programs to encourage families for less children. These programs normally offer people incentives such as tax cut or special retirement benefits. In these societies it is proven that many families will welcome family control schemes if they receive advantages in their financial life. For example, in Turkey the number child birth dropped by 20 percent after unveiling such a program in 2003.

Next alternative which is less popular among families is setting hard legislation to prevent population growth. Stopping some social benefits such as pension or having the right to vote are some of many possible rules and regulations through which governments can control the population more exclusively. This scheme is often used in highly populated countries such as India which the prior models might not work properly.

In summary, handling the consequences of over-population is very difficult for many countries and as a result this subject should not be underestimated.  Through education, encouragement models or by using the law we might be able to avoid the threat of population ‘explosion’.

August 18, 2012
8:03 pm
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Forum Posts: 67
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July 16, 2012
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2  Post ID 2192
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Population growth continue to increase in the world at a fast pace. As the population swells, many experts are not only worry about this subject, but also are they concern about its hazardous results. (I think not only… but also is misused. The first sentence should be inversion structure, and the sentence after but also is normal style. Can u get my point? I hope so.) Famine, environmental pollution or even war are is (coz u use or before) some of these threats. As a few suggestions to fight over-population, we can rely on better education, family incentives or and even stricter social legislation. (The thesis sentence perhaps could be better.)

Education is the most important mean to control the population. Family control (population control?) topics are quite matured and common in many developed countries, but on the other hand is a subject of less attention in under-developed (developing) countries. Many married women in these societies are prone to unprecedented pregnancy which eventually leads to child birth. Lack of proper education in this scope causes these sort of (the oral English is not good use in essays) problems. There are many statistics in Africa for example, which show a rising number of young women have searched for a post-prevention remedy after they found out about their unwanted pregnancy.

In some developing countries, governments introduce programs to encourage families for less children. These programs normally offer people incentives such as tax cut or special retirement benefits. In these societies, it is proven that many families will welcome family control schemes if they receive advantages in their financial life. For example, in Turkey the number child birth dropped by 20 percent after unveiling such a program in 2003.

Next alternative which is less popular among families is setting hard legislation to prevent population growth. Stopping some social benefits such as pension or having the right to vote are some of many possible rules and regulations through which governments can control the population more exclusively. (this sentence is quite long, u lost me. I think sth is wrong in his sentence) This scheme is often used in highly populated countries such as India which the prior models might not work properly.

In summary, handling the consequences of over-population is very difficult for many countries and as a result this subject should not be underestimated. Through education, encouragement models or by using the law we might be able to avoid the threat of population ‘explosion’.

 

Good essay. Tons of good words in ur essay and the opinion is clear. The grammar mistakes r few. If I m the examiner, I would give u a high score. But I wanna say that some of ur sentences r hard to understand. Maybe I m not good, however, I suggest that cut some long sentences down, coz I guess English is a language, it use for easy to understand not just long clauses used in essay. Be careful about not only, but also, perhaps u r right, but so many people make mistakes here.

 

Best regards.

 

David

August 20, 2012
2:44 am
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Forum Posts: 32
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July 13, 2012
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3  Post ID 2200
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As the population swells, many experts are not only worry about this subject, but also are they concern about its hazardous results. (I think not only… but also is misused. The first sentence should be inversion structure, and the sentence after but also is normal style. Can u get my point? I hope so.)

How about to rewriting it like this:

As the population swells, many experts are not only worry about this subject, they have also serious concerns about its hazardous results.

 

look at the following sentence:

 
Damien Jacobs is not only trying to learn a new defensive scheme and how to play in the Southeastern Conference, he's also trying to not become another part of Florida's trend of junior college busts.
 
 
 
Stopping some social benefits such as pension or having the right to vote are some of many possible rules and regulations through which governments can control the population more exclusively. (this sentence is quite long, u lost me. I think sth is wrong in his sentence)
 
You are right; it's kinda vague.
I'll rewrite it like this:
 
Stopping some social benefits such as having the right to vote are of many possible rules which governments can establish in hope for a slow down in population rate.
I want to say governments can intimidate or somehow discourage people from making too many children by means such as deprivation from voting…
 
 
Thanks David for your comment,
 
 
August 20, 2012
9:42 pm
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Forum Posts: 67
Member Since:
July 16, 2012
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4  Post ID 2202
0

Hey, Vincent

 

I got ur point from ur rewrite. I wanna say that u r rich in luxical resources. intimidate is a good word, i have to say.

 

I c ur comments on another essay, I hope u could achieve good result.

 

Do u have a skype id? add me plz

 

David

August 21, 2012
3:08 am
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Forum Posts: 32
Member Since:
July 13, 2012
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5  Post ID 2205
0

Thanks David,

I'll sure make an id and let you know ;)

 

Vincent1

August 21, 2012
4:44 pm
writefix
Guest
6  Post ID 2211
0

Hi everyone!

Please be careful with the topics you find. iIf the topic is not taken from an IELTS paper, don't waste your time doing it.

I don't know where the topic above came from but it's not IELTS.

  1. The population of Japan is shrinking, geting smaller, decling, falling, dropping, going down, plummeting by a million people a year. NOT growing. See here
  2. There is no such word as "growths" unless it is in a decaying log in a forest or you are a cancer surgeon.

The topic of population growth is still a good topic, but an IELTS topic will usually have two sides. It might ask something like this:

  • Population growth is a major threat to the planet. Should governments be required to control the population growth of their countries?
  • Population growth is a major threat to the planet because of pressure on the environment and resources. Should people be free to have as many children as they want?

Be careful with your topics. You can spend a lot of time on an essay but it might be wasted effort if it's not an IELTS-style question.

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