Practise writing against the clock!

You can find essay topics here, or newer topics with essays here.

Welcome!

In the forum on this page you can see IELTS essays by people just like you. Over a year, hundreds of people added essays and comments and helped each other to get a great IELTS essay score! Have a look at their amazing writing!

Update: The forum is closed!

I had to scale back work on this forum and so the forum is now CLOSED! Sorry! However, the hundreds of essays and thousands of comments will still be here. A HUGE thanks to everyone who commented and to all the visitors. Hopefully, we've made IELTS writing less scary.

Useful Links and Tools

closed

Popular Tags

Click any of the links below to see essays on that topic.

art business communication children crime culture economy education environment families food freedom globalization
health heritage  leisure media politics science society sports television travel technology transport university violence work

Please consider registering
guest

Log In

Lost password?

Advanced Search:

— Forum Scope —



— Match —



— Forum Options —




Wildcard usage:
*  matches any number of characters    %  matches exactly one character

Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

Topic RSS Related Topics
Why do people enjoy dangerous sports?
  Topic ID 248
April 15, 2012
2:58 pm
Member
Forum Posts: 11
Member Since:
February 28, 2012
Offline
1  Post ID 778
0

Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

Extreme sports have become commonplace in many parks and tourist attractions. Although those sports are very hazardous, they are still drawing a large number of participants. This essay will list the reasons compelling them to take part in extreme activities and give some advice about how to avoid detriment.

Most people are keen to play extreme sports for two major reasons. Perhaps the fundamental reason is that people want to overcome fear against certain things, such as giving speech in front of crowd, and gain confidence by completing adventurous missions in the sports. For example, bungee jumping, a sport which people leap off from several hundred metres high with just a rope tied with their feet, requires a great deal of courage. Many people would think that if they can finish this intimidating and life-threatening task, there is no reason they cannot deliver a speech in a big conference. Another important reason is that those sports tend to be highly stimulating. It is often a good way to relieve anxiety and tension which come from various aspects.

In terms of protection, in my opinion, far and away the most important thing to do is to ensure participants are in good health conditions. This is because the risk of being injured is very high. Sometimes, even people’s lives will be in peril. If those risk takers are strong enough, then it is highly likely that they will survive after some horrific and tragic accidents. More importantly, insurance is of great necessity, as this is the safety net for saving their lives as well as compensating their families.

In conclusion, people like to play dangerous sports for conquer fears and relaxing. However, they need to be fully aware of the consequences and risks of doing this. Meanwhile, they have to take suitable actions to protect themselves as well as their loved ones.

April 17, 2012
1:42 pm
writefix
Guest
2  Post ID 808
0

Hello Kenny

Clear and simple at 311 words. Some sentences could be shorter: your average sentence length is 18 words, and you should try to reduce this to between 12 and 15 words. Add some short sentences or break up long ones.

Word Choice/Usage

  • how to avoid detriment → how to avoid injury OR how to reduce risk
  • People want to overcome fear against certain things → People want to overcome their fear of certain things
  • such as giving speech in front of crowd → such as giving speeches OR such as giving a speech in front of a crowd
  • people like to play dangerous sports for conquer fears → people like to play dangerous sports to conquer fears
  • they have to take suitable actions → they have to take suitable action
  • far and away the most important thing to do is… → By far and away the most important thing to do is…

Avoid vague words/Shorten/Combine

  • It is often a good way to relieve anxiety and tension which come from various aspects.
    It is a good way to relieve anxiety and tension from our everyday life
    OR It is a good way to relieve everyday anxiety and tension.
  • by completing adventurous missions in the sports → by completing adventurous sports challenges
  • participants are in good health conditions → participants are healthy
  • More importantly, insurance is of great necessity, as this is the safety net for saving their lives as well as compensating their families. →
    Insurance is important to cover medical costs.
  • This is because the risk of being injured is very high. Sometimes, even people’s lives will be in peril.  →
    The risk of being injured or killed is very high.

Clarify

  • If those risk takers are strong enough, then it is highly likely that they will survive after some horrific and tragic accidents.
    If participants are strong, healthy, and trained, they have more chance of avoiding serious injuries. (Nobody could survive a tragic accident!)

Overall the essay is clear and has no irrelevant detail. You could easily reduce it to about 270 words by eliminating unnecessary phrases and words, and it would flow a little better. Well done. 

April 17, 2012
8:46 pm
Member
Forum Posts: 11
Member Since:
February 28, 2012
Offline
3  Post ID 818
0

Dear Sir,

Thanks for pointing out this, being consice is always my weakest point.

Forum Timezone: Asia/Bangkok

Most Users Ever Online: 299

Currently Online:
15 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 1

Members: 173

Moderators: 0

Admins: 0

Forum Stats:

Groups: 1

Forums: 3

Topics: 545

Posts: 2204

Newest Members: Enda Tuomey, charrmaine

Moderators:

Administrators: