Yes, it's a big topic. Baljinder has TWO ideas in Paragraph Two

• people spend less time cooking, so people are on time for work.  (Hmmm...)
• the quality of food goes up because of competition

There is ONE  idea in Paragraph Three

• People forget to cook 'conventional' food

There's no support for this idea or explanation of what 'conventional' food is. More ideas are definitely needed. I strongly recommend having THREE ideas in each body paragraph. A lot of the sentences sound nice, but don't add anything, e.g.

To conclude, it is evident from the above discussion that eating a large array of foodstuffs which are available in the market can beget some valid concerns.

Only one concern was mentioned (the one about conventional food, whatever that is). There are not enough ideas in this essay and they are not supported or developed. It would suffer badly under the heading Task Response in the official descriptors for IELTS Task 2 Writing (public version).

So I certainly agree with you about the limited number of ideas and lack of reference to the global picture.  

People are eating a variety of food these days which encourage the flow of food from every corner of the world to a local supermarket. Do you think this a negative or positive development?

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There is no doubt that food has(plays) a crucial role to play when it comes to ofproviding nourishment and nutritious to body. These days it has become a growing trend to see an upsurge in a range of food which is easily accessible all over the world. To see whether this practice gives rises to greater concerns or offers more upsides we have to look at both sides of the debate.
One(u mean benefits?) of the most conspicuous aspects of offering a wide array of food in the market is that it helps to maintain diet for busy people. Not only do they use it in their hectic lifestyle, but they can also save their time to cook food. For instance, I am working...

after reading it, i feel  did not link ur arguments with the topic"flow of food from every corner of the world to a local supermarket". u just discussed benefits of food's versatility. u did not discuss good or bad implications about food surply in a global scope. 

but i admire readability of ur essay.

There is no doubt that food has a crucial role to play when it comes to providing nourishment and nutritious to body. These days it has become a growing trend to see an upsurge in a range of food which is easily accessible all over the world. To see whether this practice gives rises to greater concerns or offers more upsides we have to look at both sides of the debate.

One of the most conspicuous aspects of offering a wide array of food in the market is that it helps to maintain diet for busy people. Not only do they use it in their hectic lifestyle, but they can also save their time to cook food. For instance, I am working as a programmer and I am left with little time to make food. So I buy different kind of food from the market near to my place. I firmly believe that my punctuality at my work can largely be attributed to the shops having a myriad food. In addition, it also encourages competition between entrepreneurs and forces them to offer same level of quality of the foodstuff. As a result, people enjoy discounts on that in various ways.

There are, however, some pitfalls of presenting a mixture of food everywhere in the globe. People can forget to make conventional food which may have far-reaching impact on their health and may suffer with diseases in the long run. Therefore, it is apparent why many are not in favour of availability of food.

To conclude, it is evident from the above discussion that eating a large array of foodstuffs which are available in the market can beget some valid concerns. Nevertheless, it can certainly benefit to occupied people by facilitating a large number of food products in the fast-paced modern era.