Thanks for this essay. It’s an interesting topic. By picking a five-year-old child, you make it more specific than just saying children or young people.

Introduction

Your first sentence is a bit awkward. I think you’ve tried to fit too much in to one sentence.  You wrote:

• This not a simple question whether parents who have a five-year-old child committing crime should be received sentence.

Here are some possible rewrites.  We could break it up or re-organize it.

Should the parents of five-year-old children who commit crimes be punished? This is not a simple question.  OR

Whether the parents of five-year-old children who commit crimes should be punished is not a simple question.   OR

It’s not easy to decide if parents should be held responsible for crimes committed by their small children.

Word Choice/Word Form/Usage

• Children have such a simple soul that deeply affected by → Children have such a simple soul that it is deeply affected by… OR Children’s souls are so simple that they are deeply affected by….
• parents are definitely have a deeply influence → parents definitely have a deep influence on their children OR children are deeply influenced by their parents
• causing they tend to use violence → causing them to use violence
• when exposing to violent environment → when exposed to a violent environment  OR  when exposed to violent environments   OR when exposed to violence
• Parents…. should subject to punishment. → should be subject to punishment.

Shorten/Simplify

You wrote:

• It can be seen from those children who have disruptive behavior are commonly found among those parents who show a tendency to act violently at home. (26 words)

Here’s one possible rewrite:

Children with disruptive behavior are often found to have parents who show a tendency to act violently at home.  OR

Disruptive children often come from violent homes. (7 words)

Shorten/Simplify: Punctuation

You wrote:

• As under- age children have no knowledge about the consequences of their actions; parents should very closely monitor what children do to notice them about those actions.

I would simplify the punctuation here and change some nouns into verbs

As under-age children do not understand the consequences of their actions, parents should monitor very closely what their children do and warn them.

You wrote:

• We cannot blame a five-year-old child who has such easy access to a wide range of violence games when using violence.

We can delete the last part or rewrite it slightly

We cannot blame a five-year-old child with such easy access to violent games for using violence.  OR

We cannot blame a five-year-old child for using violence if he or she has such easy access to violent games.

Thanks Brian for this essay -  I like the style it is written in.

A big thanks also for all the work you put into reading and commenting on other people's essays!

This not a simple question whether parents who have a five-year-old child committing crime should be received sentence. In my opinion, parents are accountable for their children's acts.

Children have such a simple soul that deeply affected by people surrounding them in particular their parents. As they spend most of the time with their fathers or mothers, and as they assume the real world is what their parents define, it is very likely that children tend to imitate parents' behavior. Therefore, parents are definitely have a deeply influence during formative years on children. It can be seen from those children who have disruptive behavior are commonly found among those parents who show a tendency to act violently at home.

In addition to parents’ effect on children, they play a vital role as a protector. As under- age children have no knowledge about the consequences of their actions; parents should very closely monitor what children do to notice them about those actions. For example, some video games or movies have devastating effects on children's mind, causing they tend to use violence when interacting with other people. We cannot blame a five-year-old child who has such easy access to a wide range of violence games when using violence. In fact, that is parents ‘duty to prevent them from watching those games.

In conclusion, the role of parents cannot be ignored in developing a child's behavior especially when is under age. A five years old child or less is susceptible to violence when exposing to violent environment or improper behavior. Parents who have the most influence on children are responsible for what their children do and should subject to punishment.