Hi,

Having read this essay, I think there are some improvements compared to your previous one. However, I'm trying to remove some of your words:

"In my view, each method has its own advantages and the combination of both ways is vital."

--> This sentences should be more specific to the topic.

"Proponents of the former view consider wide general knowledge as a way to enhance students’ productivity in working and let them choose their favourite major. To start with, it is understanding  different subjects at university that help students’ performance at job".

--> Proponents of general knowledge believe that understanding different university subjects helps to enhance students' productivity at work.

colleafues-->colleagues

Thanks to being well trained in their field, students can handle different problems well from social communication, and support for other colleafues in their sickness to management. Moreover, students, by viture of learning  subjects of different fields, are increasingly aware of their inner interest. 

--> Thanks to being well trained in their field, students can handle different social issues such as supporting other colleagues when necessary. Moreover, learning different subjects can also provide more opportunities for students to recognize the inner interests. 

Instead of being forced to follow certain jobs demanded, students have the conception of their desire and dream career.

--> I don't understand this sentences, maybe it needs to be clearer in meanings.

I think you last two paragraphs are good. It is clearer and more concise (maybe Mr Writefix will give you more comments on this). Keep up the good work and good luck for your test. 

The idea is to make your essay concise, so you should try to remove redundant words. If you can write a sentence in 15 words rather than 22 words and the meaning is similar, you should try to write 15 words.

By the way, are you studying in Hanoi or Hochiminh city?

I used to study in ACET Hanoi, now I'm living in Australia.  I'm going to take the test on 26th this month.

You can post more essays here, i'll try to have a look in my free time 🙂

By the way, if you want to practice Ielts speaking, just add me on skype.

My Skype name is buituankhang.

All the best for your writing.

yes, it is 12.00pm already. If you like, maybe we can practice at around 10 or 11p.m

I believe that correcting mistakes from each other is one way of learning so no worries about that. I'll be available during that time and so you can text me when you see me online. Hope to see you around.