hi everybody,

i have written below piece, i am targeting for band 7. please comment and mark my mistakes and suggestions will by highly appreciated.

thanks in advance.

Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Everyone agrees about the vast advancement and development of modern methods of treating a patient have been reached beyond certain limits. If we go in the past, there were several outbreaks of lethal diseases, those engulfed a huge number of lives, were controlled by treating the cause and making people immune to those culprits. No doubt that the whole world paid a significant amount for that. It is not a good approach that one should wait for someone to be infected before taking an action.

Number of diseases can be managed by just only prevention and public awareness. Although some people believe that allocating a considerable sum for to prevent certain diseases is waste of money. There are so many examples of diseases those were managed to spread further by vaccination and now these are out of our environment. However, when a community gets exposed to a disease, then definitely treatment works.

Treating many diseases are big challenges to doctors and scientists. There is drastic progress for diagnosing sicknesses, with modernization of laboratories, requires prompt treatment for the welbeing of humans. It needs significant amount to mange these cases. People are suffering from many illnesses that could have been avoided by certain measure but now unfortunately government is paying big sum for their treatment.

After considering both views, I cannot deny that treatment needs comparatively more budget than to reserve it for preventing many diseases. It can definately be reduced a lot, if we will start focusing on prevention that finally will help to control many illnesses to emerge.