some people claim  that the most effective solution is raising the price of petrol

To some extend, increasing the price of gasoline price does can attribute to the reduction of consumption on petrol. Then, as a consequent, traffic problems and pollution are released

Example: as a consequennce of: Scientists think it unlikely that any species will actually become extinct as a consequence of the oil spill. I change to below sentence.

As a result, traffic problems and pollution would reduce.

Another point is that due to the freight charges are increased, a number of multinational corporations will take the distance into consideration, building the factories which are more close to their customers to reduce the fees.

Do not use passive form instead of active form. Here an axample:

The number of cities INCREASED DRAMATICALLY in 2010.

Building the factories.... you should give more detail on this sentence which how well will be this matter.

The convenience, and whether it is easy to access also affect people’ choice

The convenience of what? I think you should explain it in detail.

The other factors would be easy access to their work and how convenient their transportaion will be.

The distance between their apartments and offices are long. If there is no developed public traffic system, the majority still go to work by private cars

It is not always true then correct it to something like that.

In some cases which the distance between their home and offices are far, and their is no developed public transportation, the majority tend to go to work by private cars.

Companies, which are the profit-chaser, are always passing fees to their customers by increasing commodity price. Therefore, merely price rising cannot dramatically decrease the private transportation, and air pollution is still rampant.

what is the relevance of this sentence to the previous one.? That is something that considered COHERENCE.

And in the long term, we must find alternative sources of power,

alternative resources

Only when multiple means are used can we effectively solve this problem.

we can ( I am not sure this phrase is usual I hope write fix help me on this)

What I have wrote is based on my knowledge  hope that writefix could leave a comment .

alison32559905 said

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do agree or disagree? What other measures do think might be effective?

 

Serious as the traffic problems is, currently, some people claim the most effective solution is raising the price of petrol. I personally think it is not comprehensive.

To some extend, increasing the price of gasoline price does can attribute to the reduction of consumption on petrol. Then, as a consequent, traffic problems and pollution are released. For example, people would rather walk or cycle to their workplaces because of the budget of petrol. They consider whether the cost of driving a car is not cost-effective before they turn on the engine.Another point is that due to the freight charges are increased, a number of multinational corporations will take the distance into consideration, building the factories which are more close to their customers to reduce the fees.

 However, I think the price is not the only factor when people consider driving. The convenience, and whether it is easy to access also affect people’ choice; and that is why the impact of raising price is limited. As we all know, many people who work for the companies located in the centre of metropolitan, prefer to live in the suburb areas. The distance between their apartments and offices are long. If there is no developed public traffic system, the majority still go to work by private cars. Companies, which are the profit-chaser, are always passing fees to their customers by increasing commodity price. Therefore, merely price rising cannot dramatically decrease the private transportation, and air pollution is still rampant.

 In my opinion, in order to deter the soaring traffic and pollution problem, government should expand the finical support in public transportation; establish more infrastructures on subways, public buses. And in the long term, we must find alternative sources of power, such as solar power, wind power and electric power. Only when multiple means are used can we effectively solve this problem.

 

Alison,

I feel introduction should be free of errors. Your introduction is not very impressive. You can write : Traffic congestion leads to serious environmental problems. Although there are some other solution to control traffic,some   people feel that increasing the price of petrol could be very effective. I firmly believe that it is not the best way to solve the problem.

 

Corrections:To some extent,does and can should not come together.You can change the sentence like this: Hiking of petrol price will solve the problem only to some extent.

 

I feel you should try to write clear sentences .

Radha Muralidhar.