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Topic:University students need to spend a lot of time on studying, but it is also essential for them to be involved in other extracurricular activities. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Students will benefit greatly from their academic knowledge. Firstly, it is more likely for those who obtain useful knowledge to have a successful career. This is because most of today’s jobs are specialized, demanding potential employees to be equipped with professional knowledge. In other words, employers tend to hire excellent students with outstanding academic performances which can be an indicator of being proficient in a particular area. Logically, those who focus on studying and acquire specialized knowledge will find a reasonable job and be easy to get promotion after graduation. In addition, spending plenty of time on studying is also beneficial for students to get further education. It is relatively easier for hard-working students to apply for a better university to study for a postgraduate or a doctor’s degree.
Reaching the conclusion that academic studying is important for college students is not the same as assuming that they can neglect extracurricular activities. Actually, those activities also positively contribute to student’s development. Students are able to learn many useful social skills when joining in those activities (e.g., basketball contests, volunteer works, speech contests, etc.). These social skills enable them to get well along with others and help them cope with tough interpersonal problems. Therefore, students should also allocate some time to extracurricular activities.
12:57 pm
March 2, 2012

The relative importance of academic study and extracurricular activities for a university student is a typical topic of discussion in most countries, including my own, in recent years.
This sentence is not very long, but it is particularly heavy. There are 8 nouns(importance, study, activities, student, topic, discussion, countries, years) and only 2 verbs(is, including). Try to use fewer nouns and to replace them with verbs. This will make your writing flow.
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