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Tasak 1: A letter to an insurance company
Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 (1 votes) 
May 30, 2012
11:18 am
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February 6, 2012
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Write a letter to your insurance company. In your letter explain
Why you are writing to them
Why you think the insurance should not be increased
What you want them to do

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to express my concern regarding the increase of my car insurance rate of which  I have been informed in your letter sent on February 13th.

Your letter states that the car model I am driving, a Holden Brava build in 2004, in your recent statistic has shown to be prone to accidents. Based on this statistic you announce the premium will increase by 10% in March. While I do not argue with the findings of your statistic I do not find this increase justified in my case. I have been a customer of Red Flag Insurances for the past 8 years and have never files a claim. Additionally, you may be aware that your premiums have already gone up by 7% only six month ago.

For these reasons I would ask you to reconsider this step rise of my insurance costs. I look forward to hear form you soon regarding your decision.

Yours Sincerely.

June 1, 2012
12:58 pm
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Hi Katiss

Why are you doing a Task 1? What’s your goal for IELTS? Are you sure that the General Module track will be accepted by the college or school or authority?  Most colleges require the Academic track. With your level of English, I think you should be looking at the Academic Module. Let us know which one you are doing! 

Word Choice/Word Form/Usage

You wrote:

I am writing to express my concern regarding the increase of my car insurance rate of which  I have been informed in your letter sent on February 13th. →

The ‘of which’ is very awkward and needs work.

  • I am writing to express my concern regarding the increase in my car insurance which I was informed about in your letter sent on February 13th  OR
  • I am writing to express my concern regarding the increase in my car insurance mentioned in your February 13th letter.  OR
  • I am writing to express my concern regarding the increase in my car insurance. Your letter dated Feb 13 states….
      
  • Additionally, you may be aware that your premiums have already gone up by 7% only six month ago.  →
    Additionally, you will be aware that your premiums have already gone up by 7% only six month ago.  OR
    Additionally, as you are aware,  your premiums have already gone up by 7% only six month ago.
     
  • this step rise of my insurance costs  → this steep rise in my insurance costs
     
  • I look forward to hear form you soon regarding your decision. → I look forward to hearing from you soon regarding your decision.

You wrote:

Your letter states that the car model I am driving, a Holden Brava build in 2004, in your recent statistic has shown to be prone to accidents.

Let’s shorten and simplify:

  • Your letter states that the car model I am driving, a 2004 Holden Brava, is prone to accidents.  OR
  • Your letter states that the 2004 Holden Brava is statistically prone to accidents. 

Verb Tense

and have never files a claim  → and have never filed a claim

Overall, the tone of your letter is perfect and you've answered all the questions. I don't think you could add anything else.

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