Hi Ammat

Thanks for this essay. It’s 335 words long, which is a little long, but OK if you can do it in the time. 

It’s probably better to try to keep to under 300 words.  That’s about a page and a half for most people. Print out the sample IELTS Writing Task 2 Answer sheet here so that you know the appropriate length depending on your handwriting, and practice writing by hand in 35 minutes.

Word Choice/Word Form/Usage

• Individual freedom is an essential needs → Individual freedom is an essential need
• report any informations → report any information
• celebrities private lives → celebrities’ private lives
• public figures personal matters → public figures’ personal matters
• in favour and against this media practice  → in favour of and against this media practice
• reability → reality (?)
• Some of the rumours and scandals that arise not really valid and trusted → Some of the rumours and scandals that arise are not really valid and trusted
• This essay will analyse about media's right to freedom → This essay will analyse the media's right to freedom
• Public depend on media to get stories and informations → The public depends on the media to get stories and information
• public figures should accept the inconveniences → public figures should accept the inconvenience
• media can be a useful tool to investigate politician's wrongdoing→ the media can be a useful tool to investigate a politician's wrongdoing  OR  media can be a useful tool to investigate politicians’ wrongdoing.
• it is sometimes in the public interest for media to investigate politician private lives → it is sometimes in the public interest for media to investigate politicians’ private lives
• media and public figures will always correlate with each others. → media and public figures will always be closely related/intertwined/linked

Clarify

You wrote:

However, as public informations pool, they need to be aware about people's sensitivity and feeling.

Here’s one possible rewrite:

As well as being a source of information, the media need to be aware of people's sensitivity and feeling.

Coherence and Cohesion

In your second sentence in your intro, “On top of that” is not a smooth link from the previous idea.  Neither is “this kind of situation.”

Here’s one possible rewrite:

Individual freedom is an basic human need. However, in many cases, the media abuse this human right to privacy and freedom.

In Paragraph Two, “Having said that” is also incorrect.

In Paragraph Three, “Its always involved about famous people's relationship and family,” the word “it” refers to scandals and rumours and should be plural.

• It’s always involved about famous people's relationship →  [They ] often involve famous people's relationships

 Have a look at the official descriptors for IELTS Task 2 Writing (public version) here, under Coherence and Cohesion. Basically it means links between ideas and sentences, as well as within sentences.

Overall

Overall, your essay is fine. Some of the examples could be shorter, and this might allow you to give more examples and still have a shorter essay. Layout and topic sentences are fine.