Hi Naheed and Brian!

Naheed, thanks for a nice clear well-organized essay. This is absolutely fine, apart from Brian's few comments, which I agree with. It has simple sentences, a clear introduction and conclusion with a summary, and very few errors.

Brian -  well done on spotting the few errors which exist. As you point out, Naheed has good ideas and a good choice of vocabulary here.  Without looking at your feedback, I found the following points - and guess what - you found all the same ones!

Introduction

Naheed, I would have a marker in your second sentence to make the change from positive to negative even clearer

I believe this is generally a positive development but with some drawbacks. OR

Although this is a positive development, the growth of supermarkets and malls have some drawbacks. OR

Although malls and supermarkets are pleasant places to shop, they are not without problems.

Usage

• On one hand ==> On the one hand
• Many people like shopping in big malls than traditional shops ==> like shopping in big malls more than in traditional shops OR prefer shopping in big malls.

One problem is that people often ends up their shopping with many unnecessary items

One problem is that people often end up with many unnecessary items (in their shopping)

These items usually just stacked at their home or passes their expiry dates. 

These items are usually just stacked at their home and left to pass their expiry dates.

Fragments and Run-Ons/Comma Splices

Don't use commas to join separate ideas. Use a fulll stop:

First of all,it is convenient, people can buy almost everything under one roof. ==>

First of all, it is convenient. People can buy almost everything under one roof.

Or use 'because'

First of all, it is convenient, because people can buy almost everything under one roof.

Be careful with lists. This one is tough because it's not parallel:

I believe shopping in supermarkets is convenient, cheaper that ensures good quality to their customers as well.

I believe shopping in supermarkets is cheap and convenient, and ensures good quality for the customer.

Verb tense

Many markets claimed to have everything from a sewing needle to a car.

Stick to present tense - 'claim'

Simplify

Another drawback is that people incur lot of extra amount from their hard-earned money on huge payments for their bills.

Another drawback is that people are tempted to spend a lot in malls.

Apart from these points, I'm very happy with the essay, Naheed. It's easy to read, it makes sense and it's organized properly. Good work. And well done Brian again!