Hi Ruby and welcome to Writefix.

I'm going to be harsh here. 

If you want a Band 8 you are going to have to completely change the way you write. I'm not going to tell you the correct versions or all your mistakes -  I have a feeling that you know them already but are assuming that they are unimportant.

First of all I’ve reformatted your essay to add one space AFTER all the full stops and one space AFTER all the commas. Perhaps it was only a typing error, but punctuation IS important in IELTS. Have a look at the official descriptors for IELTS Task 2 Writing (public version) here, under Grammatical Range and Accuracy, and look for the phrase “punctuation may be faulty.” It's in Band 5.  (Band 4 has "punctuation is often faulty."

Next, you need to remove ALL these phrases:

• there sparks off heated controversies
• In my opinion, this may be true to some extent
• however when compare the two, …X… still reveals some benefits
• Opponents of the second trend often state that this way
• In conclusion, the answers to the concern are still on debate

These are very very very tired old phrases and they are out of place in any essay above Band 6.  You can see more examples of tired old phrases and generic sentences here and here. In any case, you’ve used many of them incorrectly.  Leave out all clichéd and standardized phrases.

Third, I’m going to highlight all the references in your essay which force the reader to go back, up, down and every direction except forward. Good writing goes forward: Your job is to guide the reader effortlessly to the end of your essay. Do not force the reader to remember, to go back, to decide what reference you mean or to have to work out what ‘respectively’ or ‘latter’ or ‘former’ or ‘above mean. That goes for pronouns as well.   Do not use any of these phrases:

• the latter form of assessment
• Opponents of the second trend
• often state that this way
• Despite these
• Besides, member involved in this types of evaluating
• With regard to the above advantage
• the problem mentioned by opponent seems to be minority
• if university themselves enforce the regulation strictly.
• the answers to the concern

Every single one of these reference stopped me in my tracks. Have a look at the official descriptors for IELTS Task 2 Writing (public version) here, under Coherence and Cohesion -  Band 6: “may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately”

Again, under Coherence and Cohesion, you need to get out of the irritating habit of starting every sentence with a ‘linking’ word. See Band 5: “overuse of cohesive devices.”

Do it now: check how many of your sentences start with a word followed by a comma (“despite these,” “therefore,” “moreover,” “nonetheless,” “besides,” “with regard to the above advantage”). Use very sparingly.

Articles 

Moving to Grammatical Range and Accuracy, let’s focus on articles (a/an/the)

• member involved in this types
• examiner could see how creative they are
• the problem mentioned by opponent seems to be minority
• if university themselves enforce the regulation strictly.

 Verb Tense/Agreement

• the pressure from formal examinations exacerbate
• a project in form of teamwork may shows
• member involved in this types of evaluating
• no stereotype questions or answers placed on them
• when compare the two

Punctuation

• the answers to the concern are still on debate meanwhile the method of measurements such as coursework and projects also have some advantages [run-on sentence]