Hi Linh

Thanks for this essy. It's an interesting topic!

• What else could you use instead of the word 'unbelievable' in Para 1 and 'believable' in the last paragraph?
• Would it help if your intro focused on journalists in particular, rather than the media in general?

I like the last part of your thesis sentence. 

In para 2, I'm not happy with the phrase "That is to say." It refers back and should explain more about the previous sentence, which is about how useful papers are, so it's a bit of a non-sequitur (something that doesn't follow logically).

Your example of the NYT or Guardian as reliable sources is good, following the previous sentence correctly.

To begin with, thanks to newspapers, people are exposed to a wealth of valuable information. That is to say, prior to the publication of a newspaper, all the news must experience a strict process of verification and censorship, boosting the credibility of most articles. In fact, some long-established papers such as The New York Times or the Guardians are still considered as reliable news sources.

Your other ideas are well organized and developed.

In the conclusion, I would change a little:

It is high time that both the government and the whole media make concrete efforts to let make sure that all the news are is believable.

 ("news" is singular)

Hi Linh

Thanks for your comment!

To begin with, thanks to newspapers, people are exposed to a wealth of valuable information. That is to say, prior to the publication of a newspaper, all the news must experience a strict process of verification and censorship, boosting the credibility of most articles. In fact, some long-established papers such as The New York Times or the Guardians are still considered as reliable news sources.

I might rewrite the paragraph like this:

Thanks to newspapers, people are exposed to a wealth of information. Generally, this news goes through a strict process of verification which boosts the credibility of the journalist and the articles. Long-established papers such as the Guardian and The New York Times owe their prestige to the rigor with which they check their information and balance their reporting. Unfortunately, however, there are other papers which do not share this responsibility...(etc)....

The phrase "that is to say" in your paragraph should explain more about the previous sentence (either the wealth of information or the fact that people are exposed to it)

I think in Paragraph 1, you could use "some journalists lack credibility" or even "cannot be trusted." In the conclusion, you could leave "believable" as it is, or change it to "truthful" or "accurate" or "trustworthy"