hi Nick,

you mainly use complex and long sentences. you should use more simple and short sentences to clearly express your ideas.

you should use more linking works to make your writing coherent.

that is my idea, let me know if you have any opinions about my comments.

hopefully, you find it useful

best wishes,

Nowadays, some people argue that petty crimes should be sent to jail. Others, however, maintain that unimportant crimes which can be accepted tolerated by others should have alternative ways punishments;  such s  community service which help the locals. In this essay, I will analyze the reasons why people think convicts should send to prison and why convicts can do community service.

According to people's safety, they on one hand, Many people trust that offenders such as fraud, thieves, and numerous lawbreakers are potential threats to the safety of in society, namely fraud, thieves, and numerous lawbreakers. Take ex-convicts for example, people show sufficient evidences it is evident that indicate a high rate of re-commitment among ex-convict which is the sources of the crime problems whether is major or minor.

On the other hand, while the crime which is punished it yet still increases. Therefore, Authorities have to start with rehabilitation.  Many People believe(or claim, suggest) that prisoners is are human beings, and so they own (or possess) their options to reform their guilt. Take rehabilitation for example, moreover, Building and managing the jail is a are heavy financial burdens on the government. It is cost-effective that to adjust criminals by requesting them to do community service. therefore, This helps to reduce the strains on the government. Besides, there are a lot of many groups of juvenile delinquency in society. People should encourage effective measures which government can adopt to in fact, home and school educations are more effective to re-educate them in spite of than locking them to jail.

In conclusion my view, I believe that both sides have their own reasons for their choice purposes, but I believe that people need to respect the common good benefits of the public. However, the most important thing is that protecting and safeguarding the balance of crime are the most important things should work together both citizens and governments. Although the long terms jail can serve as a deterrent to prevent the crime rate, people need to leave some mercy and humanitarian on prisoners.

hello,

here is my essay for this topic,

hope to receive your comments for improvement.

thank you.

Nowadays, the number of crime is rapidly increasing. Many people indicate that all the lawbreakers should be sent into jail. In this essay, I will explain the reasons why we should have some alternative punishments instead of sentencing criminals.

First, it is essential to base on the seriousness of crimes in order to give appropriate punishments. Because it is society’s money to build and manage prisons, governments should punish criminals in the way that is beneficial to society. For example, thieves should be forced to do community works such as planting trees, collecting rubbish, and controlling traffic. In addition, taking part in social works is a chance for lawbreakers to realize their mistakes and to change themselves. It is evident that a large percent of criminals who become useful individuals after working at social organization.  

Secondly, prisons are not the effective deterrent to crimes. In fact, many lawbreakers recommit the crime after released. Therefore, it is important to find out the reasons leading to the increase of criminals including the poor and adolescence. Because of poor living condition, many poor people have to break the law. Therefore, governments should have some actions to improve their living standard. Moreover, to deal with the high rate of juvenile delinquent, parents should pay much attention to their children, because family education plays an important role in the development a child.

In conclusion, it may be necessary to implement some social works as punishments for lawbreakers. To make a better society, people should start to deal with the increase of crime. 

hello Alison32559905

in general, your writing are quite good.

i admire your vocabulary, 

here are my comments,

hopefully, they are useful for you,

best wishes,

Imprisonment is the most popular major penalty for offenders in many countries in the world. But whether it is effective, especially when dealing with pretty crimes?( should not use question in introduction or however, many people doubt about its effectiveness on pretty crimes ) I think those pretty criminals should be punished to work for local communities rather than instead of being put into jail, for the sake of a local community. 

With no doubt, offenders should pay the price ( or be responsible for) for their illegal activities, no matter they are felonries or misdemeanants. Their disruptive behaviors harm the social stability, for examples, they might inflict economic damage or even destroy families. Therefore as a cost, deprivation of their liberty for them is necessary and fair enough. Never would culprits do self-examination until facing the restriction of freedom. In my opinion, some potential culprits would may actually commit a crime, if there is no imprisonment at all.

Obviously, Sending pretty criminals to work can be more effective though punishment. On the one side, forcing lawbreakers to labor, technically speaking is another way to deprive their liberty. That is because they have to work under judges’ instruction, which it means that they are not doing as they like and want ( or it means that their activities are strictly controlled). That is, even though they hate their work, they have to do it. So restriction on them is not less than incarceration in this sense. On the other side, the local community can profit (or benefit)  from these criminal’s manual labor in the meantime. For instance, residents could buy something these people make for free, and enjoy the cleaning of streets that light lawbreakers have swept.

In a broaden perspective, using the identical criteria to treat different types of lawbreakers is unjustified. There should be distinction in my view. Besides, since pretty criminals are comparatively less dangerous to society, so letting them out to work would be more beneficial to the community concern public little.

To conclude, imprisonment is an indispensable form of penalty. But for some offenders whose crimes is are minor, to work for public and to do contribution might be a better option to relieve their guilt.  

rose2802 said

hello,

here is my essay for this topic,

hope to receive your comments for improvement.

thank you.

 

Nowadays, the number of crime is rapidly increasing. Many people indicate that all the lawbreakers should be sent into jail. In this essay, I will explain the reasons why we should have some alternative punishments instead of sentencing criminals.

First, it is essential to base on the seriousness of crimes in order to give appropriate punishments. Because it is society’s money to build and manage prisons, governments should punish criminals in the way that is beneficial to society. For example, thieves should be forced to do community works such as planting trees, collecting rubbish, and controlling traffic. In addition, taking part in social works is a chance for lawbreakers to realize their mistakes and to change themselves. It is evident that a large percent of criminals who become useful individuals after working at social organization.  

Secondly, prisons are not the effective deterrent to crimes. In fact, many lawbreakers recommit the crime after released. Therefore, it is important to find out the reasons leading to the increase of criminals including the poor and adolescence. Because of poor living condition, many poor people have to break the law. Therefore, governments should have some actions to improve their living standard. Moreover, to deal with the high rate of juvenile delinquent, parents should pay much attention to their children, because family education plays an important role in the development a child.

In conclusion, it may be necessary to implement some social works as punishments for lawbreakers. To make a better society, people should start to deal with the increase of crime. 

Hi Rose,

I think your essay is well-organized and easy to read, which is your advantage. However, I just want to mention a few points:

+ Your essay still contains a few grammatical mistakes related to singular or plurals. For example, "work" should have no "s" ending.

+ In paragraph 3: " Therefore, governments should have some actions to improve their living standard". The word "some actions" is quite vague, so it should be more specific.

+ The topic asked you demonstrate "both sides". However, you only mention the side you agree with.Why some people like to put criminals to prison?

+ In paragraph 2, the first topic sentence does not relate to the rest of the paragraph.  Maybe it will be better to write " There are several advantages of forcing criminals to get involved in community work instead of sending them to prisons".

+ Also, the second sentence in your conclusion does not relate to the topic.

All the best!

I would also like to join the list.. Here is my version of it

Every one who breaks the law should be punished. However the modes in which they are punished vary from one country to another. Imprisonment is the highest penalty given to those who commit quite a big crime, in most of the countries. I would consider that it is an absolutely unjustified act to punish even the petty criminals in the same way.

            First, the criminals who commit major crime are more vulnerable to the society. Imprisonment is the best sort of punishment to them. On the contrary, if petty criminals are sentenced in the similar manner, there is higher probability for them to get deviated from the right path. As the proverb implies ‘An idle mind is a devil’s workshop’, by being just idle in the prison, they may get frustrated and lose their hope in life. Consider when a petty offender has done the crime accidentally/unintentionally; when he gets this sort of punishment, there are quite a lot of chances for him to be misguided by other prisoners. Besides this, this sort of punishment can even make people lazy, as they then to get food and shelter without paying anything .Therefore it is advisable to keep those petty offenders away from other prisoners

 In addition to this, involving them in social activities would cause benefit in various aspects such as the concerned individual, the local people and the government. It is advisable, that the government should provide them some authentication for their work and also some incentives. This will help them not only to get a god job, but will improve their self respect. This will reduce the crime to much greater extent, as unemployment and poverty are the prime factors leading to crime.

      To conclude, I would like to go in favour of involving petty criminals in social works rather than keeping them imprisoned, so as to benefit the entire society.

I had presented the essay under same topic.......... please do comment on my mistake. Does my writing pattern is correct for such discuss and opinion questions? I will be grateful for your comments.......... 

It is often said that the criminals should be locked up behind the bars. However, others argue that imprisonment is not only the best solution for petty criminals. In my view, community service is beneficial not only for the prisoners but for the well-being of community as well.

Some people argue that community service is not a sufficient punishment for the minor offenders. They say that it is hard for them to live in the same society where criminals are allowed to live with freedom. They can not tolerate the constant fear of being theft, stolen and abused. It is also pointed out that such petty criminals may breach the boundary of major crime that once had breached the minor crime. Criminals, therefore, no matter what crime he or she involves in, should be locked up away from their victims.

However, in my opinion, addition of minor criminals like pick-picketers, gamblers, being drunk and behaving disorderly in the prison means creating overcrowding and increasing the need of more budget. At the same time, such minor offenders may emerge out with negative feelings built up inside the atmosphere of prison and this raises the chances of violence. All this disadvantages of putting them in the prison can be prevented after implying the law of community service. Activities like to clean the streets, to talk to school groups, to plant trees, to collect rubbish and control traffic may make the petty criminals useful to the society and ultimately repay their own local community.

Taking both these above into consideration, I conclude saying that though prisons are suitable punishment for major criminals the community services or works are an effective deterrent to reform minor criminals. Such activities not only encourage individual development but also cause good to the community and nation as a whole.

Thank you sir, I really appreciate your comments. Could you please tell me how could I improve my problem with this article and word usage while writing? I will remember about the topic sentence from next time. I think this correction would really help me a lot. 

Thank you very very much.

Hi Enda

again thank a lot for your great comments.

in regard to your question, I should say the lacks is refer to skill and work. But you are right I have to be enclosed with this essay to explain what they mean.

here is another possible sentence:

In conclusion, I believe that it is essential to let criminals to work and even teach them some skills. Maybe some lacks such as unemployment or not having an appropirate skills is the reason of committing crimes. If criminals had some skills, they would have different lives.