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Should sport be eliminated from the curriculum?
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December 8, 2011
8:52 am
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Many parents feel that sport at school is a waste of student's time and children should focus purely on academic subjects like Mathematics and languages. Other parents feel that children learn valuable life lessons from playing sport at school.

Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

 

                The debate over whether students should play sport at school has long existed. In one group are those who believe that sport should be eliminated from the curriculum and students should concentrate completely on academic subjects such as Mathematics and languages. In the other group, parents feel that sport classes bring many benefits and valuable lessons for children’s future. Personally, I have the same opinion with the latter group.

                 Admittedly, sport, which balances mental power and physical strength, is an essential part of the curriculum. Students spend most of their time at school learning academic subjects, and as a result, they may become stressed out. Playing sport or exercise gives participants a chance to reduce the pressure from their studies and improve their health, too. The more they play sport, the more active and sociable pupils become. Besides, sport is also an interactive communication method that shrinks the distance between people. For example, children often get acquainted with each other when playing together.

                 Another point is the more priceless lessons such as team spirit, the union of young people which is only available in sport. Children may learn that in some cases, they cannot be successful without working together or support from others. This is one of the most valuable lessons useful for their future. Furthermore, sport helps students realize their potential abilities to become professional sportspersons. Most of athletes were discovered at school and they knew that they may achieve success through their natural sporting talents rather than strive to study. This proves that physical education plays an important role no less than academic subjects even though time for sport is much shorter than the other areas.

                 In conclusion, sport has a significant benefit in providing all-round education for children. It is necessary to spend time for sport to be healthier and have valuable life lessons.

December 8, 2011
3:07 pm
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writefix
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Hello Phan and welcome to Writefix!

 

I'm excited that you are the first person on this forum to add your Facebook and Twitter links! I hope you meet some helpful people through the links!

I've moved your essay here from the Questions and Comments forum – hope you don't mind. The layout is a bit confusing, I know. I might change it in a couple of months.

 

I'm very happy with your essay. It's a pleasure to read. There are very few things I would change.

 

I don't like the word 'latter' because it can force the reader to go back a long way, but you used it correctly and in a short sentence. It's very clear.

 

I might remove the word 'method':

Besides, sport is also an interactive communication method that shrinks the distance between people.

Besides, sport is also a type of interactive communication that shrinks the distance between people.

Most of athletes were discovered at school -

Most athletes were discovered at school

Thanks for a really good easy-to-read essay!

December 8, 2011
3:40 pm
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Thank you very much. I'm very happy because of your comment. 😀
Could you evaluate a band score for my writing? I'm taking an IELTS exam and I would like to know how I should improve my writing skill to get a good score.

I'm looking forward to your reply. 😀

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