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(0 votes) 9:26 pm
June 1, 2012
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Someday paper money and coins will be replaced by credit cards and online methods of monetary exchange. Do you agree or disagree?
With the technological advancements in the banking system, now a days people are presented with numerous ways of paying for purchases. It is often said that electronically operated banking cards will displace the use of paper money and coins. But, I disagree with the view that modern payment will completely grasp the value of traditional money and metal coins.
There are various advantages of modern monetary exchange. Firstly, it is now increasingly common for people to shop online where they cannot use paper money and coins to pay. Thus, people eventually embrace the modern method of payment to be able to participate in online commerce. Secondly, the security features of credit cards and online method of monetary exchange give authorities the capability of tracing the use of the cards. However, if the person carrying money is robbed then it is difficult to find out where the stolen money is used. Furthermore, the safety features of modern monetary exchange will be invaluable for people who want to keep their hard earned money safe.
Even though electronic cards have brought tremendous comforts and convenience to people, these can not entirely replace the traditional money exchange. Paper money and metal coins have long been used as a medium of exchange and a standard of value in almost all societies. Thus, traditional monetary system has a cultural, historical and social background that are impossible to change. Internet banking is not always fully secured. There are ample evidences of computer viruses, hackers and crimes. Human have developed a certain emotional bonding with paper money and coins. Coin collectors for example will inevitably get hurt after entire replacement of traditional money and coins.
In conclusion, modern monetary exchange has certainly benefited people by bringing convenience and avoiding certain problems from using paper money and coins. However, the entire replacement of traditional paying method by credit cards is only theoretical as the later can not change the certain aspects of the paper money and coins.
2:58 pm
Hi ‘Essays’
Thanks for this essay
Word Choice/Word Form/Usage
- now a days → nowadays
- There are ample evidences of computer viruses, hackers and crimes. → There is ample evidence of computer viruses, hackers and crime.
- But, I disagree with the view that modern payment will completely grasp the value of traditional money and metal coins. → However, I don’t believe that modern payment methods will take over completely from traditional banknotes and coins. (Don’t start sentences with ‘And,’ ‘But,’ ‘Because,’ ‘For,’ ‘Since,’ or ‘So.’)
You’ve overused the phrase ‘modern monetary exchange’ or ‘monetary exchange’ - try to think of simpler alternatives – notes, banknotes, cash, currency, coins, money, conventional money, etc.
You wrote:
Thus, traditional monetary system has a cultural, historical and social background that are impossible to change.
Here’s one possible rewrite:
Conventional money has a cultural, historical and social background that is impossible to change.
Nouns and Nominalizations
Secondly, the security features of credit cards and online method of monetary exchange give authorities the capability of tracing the use of the cards.
There are a lot of nouns in this sentence - 10 or 12, by some counts. Nouns or nominalizations slow down your sentences. Try to have fewer nouns in your sentences, or to replace them with adjectives or verbs. The solitary verb above also has an agreement problem.
Here’s one possible rewrite with fewer nouns:
Secondly, it’s easy for credit card companies to trace when cards are misused.
Good writing goes forward: Avoid 'latter' and 'former'
You wrote:
However, the entire replacement of traditional paying method by credit cards is only theoretical as the later can not change the certain aspects of the paper money and coins.
Don’t make the reader go back to the previous sentence or paragraph to find out which is ‘latter’ and which is ‘former.’ Keep your writing going forwards - avoid unclear or confusing pronoun references.
Here’s one possible rewrite:
However, the replacement of traditional method of payment by credit cards is not a practical idea. Coins and backnotes will rattle in our pockets for a long time to come.
4:04 pm
June 1, 2012
Offline
thank you very much, sir.
Thus, traditional monetary system has a cultural, historical and social background that are impossible to change.
why can not we use are? Why is? Could you give me a little more explanation sir?
The next thing is yes, I also thought the overuse of the traditional monetary exchange in this essay but i was not able to get any good synonyms for this. thank for all your vocabulary.
‘modern monetary exchange’ or ‘monetary exchange’ – notes, banknotes, cash, currency, money, coins, conventional money,
I always got so surprised by the way you fasten all those knots created in our writing and provide us with such a simply beautiful sentence. you really are a great writer, sir.
Thank you.
Hi, "essays".
In this sentence "Thus, traditional monetary system has a cultural, historical and social background [sigular form] that are [singular form "is" should be used here due to "Subject-Verb Agreement" ] impossible to change."
9:45 pm
June 1, 2012
Offline
Crystalhuang said
Hi, "essays".
In this sentence "Thus, traditional monetary system has a cultural, historical and social background [sigular form] that are [singular form "is" should be used here due to "Subject-Verb Agreement" ] impossible to change."
thank you , I got it!!!!!!!!!
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