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3:31 am
November 17, 2011

Many factors contribute to job satisfaction, including favorable physical working environment, considerate employers, manageable stress from work, and no working overtime. However, speaking for myself, reasonable payment and sound co-worker relationships are the two most essential aspects to ensure that employees are happy with their work.
To start with, working salary is the most direct indicator showing the value of an employee’s efforts and contributions to the community. Usually the more dedication a worker makes to the position, or the better service he provides, the larger amount of salary he will be paid. Therefore, if an adult thinks that the payment he receives does not match the contribution he makes, dissatisfaction for the job, which may have a side effect on working motivation, will ensue. Additionally, quality personal relations, which may facilitate more effective coordination and lead to greater achievements, can also generate much job satisfaction. In today’s interrelated and interdepended society, having better human resources to draw on is a prerequisite for job success, which forms part of job satisfaction.
Of course it is unlikely that each adult can get a satisfactory career, because the reality is so complex and competition in the job market is increasingly intense. In order to make a living, individuals sometimes have to accept a job that they neither dislike nor be good at.
In conclusion, though it is a challenge to meet the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers, as a crucial element of an individual’s wellbeing and an effective way to attract real talents, job satisfaction is worthwhile being attached more importance by employers. In this respect, employees and employers alike will benefit a great deal eventually.
2:18 pm

Hi Sophia
Thanks for this clearer and well-argued essay!
Your ideas are well-supported and I don't need to make any comment on them.
Just a couple of small issues:
You have a monster sentence in the conclusion
In conclusion, though it is a challenge to meet the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers, as a crucial element of an individual’s wellbeing and an effective way to attract real talents, job satisfaction is worthwhile being attached more importance by employers.
44 words! Red alert! Run! Hide!
It's well structured and logical, but needs a lot of concentration. Three sentences like this would be enough for Task 1 in IELTS! Check out the Lexical Density of the sentence on this very useful website: http://www.usingenglish.com/resources/text-statistics.php
I think you need to change "worthwhile being attached" and to shorten where possible. I'd also like to move the main idea up a little and remove the passive.
In conclusion, although it is a challenge to provide job satisfaction for all workers, employers are giving it more importance in order to keep talent and improve worker well-being.
Or, a little differently:
Employers who emphasize job satisfaction have an easier job of attracting and keeping talented staff.
One more minor point on an otherwise exellent sentence:
In order to make a living, individuals sometimes have to accept a job that they neither dislike nor be good at.
Changes to:
In order to make a living, individuals sometimes have to accept jobs that they neither like nor are good at.
Of course, how long can employees keep doing a job like that, and how many employers know that employees have no choice?
Thanks for another good essay!
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