Whoa!

I don’t know if it’s because it’s summer or because everyone has IELTS coming up, but in the last couple of weeks there have been waaaaay more essays than I can look at.

Please help out and comment on each other. I can’t do them all.  You don’t have to rewrite their essay or even know the exact mistake -  you just have to say a few words.

1. I didn’t understand the last part of your second paragraph.
2. You need a better topic sentence.
3. You need to write shorter sentences.
4. Your ideas are really great, but you need more examples in Paragraph Three
5. Your conclusion was off-topic.
6. This is not a full sentence: “While you were writing”
7. Check your punctuation.
8. I think your essay is well-organized, but…
9. Your conclusion is too long.
10. I think simpler words would improve your essay. For example, what does “efficacious” mean?

You can check the official descriptors for IELTS Task 2 Writing (public version) here.

All these essays need someone to look at them and comment. I can do some, and will try in the next few days, but I there's no way I can do them all! 

• Ainurik Salaries of Sports Athletes
• Allen How has technology changed relationships in society
• Blue Sky  Should public transport be free?
• Brian_mcclaine  Should parents be punished if their five-year-old child commits a crime?
• Chenyulue Is it pointless to try to keep traditional skills and ways of life alive?
• Colin Do increased security measures reduce crime or have other effects?
• DavidLee Should young people work or travel for a year before starting university?
• DavidLee Task 1 Graph: Elderly in Sweden, USA and Japan
• DavidLee What cause and how to solve the severe problems with student behavior
• Huynhtho  Fewer people are cooking. Is this a good thing?
• Huynhtho  Has shopping become a form of entertainment?
• Katherine Should children be allowed to do paid work?
• Kiran2012  Can dieting change your life or ruin your health?
• Lifei Which is more important - talent or hard work?
• Mzahed Task 1 (General): Complaint letter about TV program
• Raihan Which of the media is most effective for news?
• RshdworkHave recent media brought more disadvantages than advantages to society?
• Ruby2011Which is better, formal exams or coursework?
• Sky   What are the causes and effects of poverty?
• Trang What makes you happy?
• VickyQiu310 Do young adults need teachers?
• Victor Should young people work or travel for a year before going to college?