Hi Alison

I'm a bit busy today, but I played with your essay on the http://www.online-utility.org/english/readability_test_and_improve.jsp  site.

It hates long sentences. Even when I corrected the sentences which it found in your essay and ran the new essay through, it still didn't like them because they are long. So it's possible that it might suggest rewriting sentences which are fine.

But it's still good to rewrite long sentences and try to break them up.

One thing it does as well is that it sometimes ignores mistakes in short sentences. For example your sentence "Some adults are high education level" should read "Some adults are well-educated" and it should really be joined to the next sentence. However, the application doesn't pick this up.

So you are right - it's a little frustrating.  It really looks at sentence length, and while this is a very important thing to fix -  we need to reduce our sentence length -  it's only one problem.

I still think it's great. It has almost never found a sentence that is correct, because most candidates get short sentences correct but mess up with longer ones. So it's a useful tool, but I can see why it's frustrating for you to use.

It's the equivalent of the plain red underline from the teacher with no comment!

Hi Alison

Here's your essay with some of those sentences edited a little:

Some people prefer to teach their children themselves. Do these children gain a lot, or do they lose the chance of being educated well? In my essay, I will suggest why some parents prefer their children to study at home, and indicate the merits and drawbacks.

Home schooling may be the parent's choice or may be due to geography. Some well-educated adults feel confident to teach their children. However, families living in villages or remote areas may be forced to educate children at home.

Children can definitely benefit from being taught at home. In a big class, it’s impossible for the teacher to pay attention to every student. However, home-schooled children receive complete attention from their parents. They make the appropriate teaching plans for their children, so good results are more likely. Less time and energy are also wasted on commuting, so children may learn more efficiently.

Staying away from schools has disadvantages, though. First, the biggest problem is that parents are not versatile. They cannot master every subject. Home-schooled children may not cover as many subjects as their counterparts. Second, parents may use unsuitable methodology because of lack of formal training. Third, it could render children isolated. They may have few chances to play with their peers, and this could affect their social skills.

Parents need to think carefully about the social and educational impact of home schooling. While it has some advantages, I think isolation and the limits of parental knowledge outweigh them.

But if you put this essay into http://www.online-utility.org/english/readability_test_and_improve.jsp, it will still highlight these sentences are being more difficult to read!

• In my essay, I will suggest why some parents prefer their children to study at home, and indicate the merits and drawbacks.
• However, families living in villages or remote areas may be forced to educate children at home.
• While it has some advantages, I think isolation and the limits of parental knowledge outweigh them.
• Parents need to think carefully about the social and educational impact of home schooling.
• Less time and energy are also wasted on commuting, so children may learn more efficiently.
• Second, parents may use unsuitable methodology because of lack of formal training.

So I agree it can be a little frustrating. You are editing for style and conciseness, rather than to fix mistakes.

Compare these two Before and After pictures from http://www.read-able.com - your essay 'before' and 'after' editing the sentences the application found:

It doesn't seem like a major improvement, but it's an improvement! 

To answer the question about paragraphs - yes you could combine them.